Eastern psychology teaches about our deeper mind,
our ultimate mind, our non-material mind,
clouded by everyday living and our everyday mind.

Meditation quiets the everyday mind, allowing us,
the practitioner of meditation to gain
access to our deeper mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dream with the mother of Pinochet
I am in a great march
We are now crossing the Mapocho River
I see dead bodies floating in the water
We are going to the Cemetery
There is a great deal of people,
we go shouting against pinochet.
We shout very loud:
murderer, murderer, murderer!!
We arrive at the cemetery
We arrive and we are still marching
It occurs to us to desecrate the
tomb of the mother of pinochet
We break the lock,
until we managed to enter into
a large mausoleum
We want to throw the remains of his mother
to the waters of the Mapocho River
Finally we manage to get into her coffin
Although she is a skeleton there is still
some flesh and clothes stack to the bones
We hang the remains in a thin and long stick
Her skeleton hangs like a macabre rag doll
I see the ocular orbits, they are empty
I see her face very well, it is all bones
Now of return back to the river
We are many; we occupy the entire street
It does not matter where look;
I can only see people
Now the Special Forces police arrive
Someone throws the skeleton of the
mother of pinochet at the Mapocho River
We Shout stronger still against pinochet
Murderer, murderer, murderer!!
An enormous fight breaks up between
the Special Forces police and us
All of a sudden I realised I am standing on top
of a police officer
We look straight in the eye
At that precise moment I started jumping
WITH ALL MY MIGHT
over his chest
I enjoyed every single moment
of this moment of violence.
When awake he had a
sensation of joy and disgust!

 

 

 

 

i started to regularly practice meditation due to a physically limiting illness, FYBROMYALGIA.

i saw a doctor who gave me a drug which was ON TRIAL i was upset as the doctor never mentioned this FACT to me, the doctor was from INDIA.

when i approached him with this information, he was surprised at my concern and said: SO WHAT?

i was not HAPPY with the doctor´s response and looked for a different doctor.

i went to see a BUDDHIST doctor from VIETNAM.

my new doctor said: move your arms, i could not move my right arm at all and have some but not total movement of my left arm.

he said it must be something mechanical, i said i had X RAYS and everything was OK. my doctor said: it would be the SOFT TISSUE, i had a scan and everything was OK, the doctor from INDIA did a set of blood tests before this and everything was OK also.

ACCORDING TO ALL TESTS CONDUCTED i was OK, but all the doctors that saw me knew i was NOT OK, i was sick, thus i had FYBROMYALGIA.

i said to my doctor, i do not TRUST HALOPATIC MEDICINE AND OR MEDICATION, he said you will have to follow the TREATMENTS AVAILABLE otherwise it would be said you refuse treatment.

i was trying to be considered an INVALID which i still am, but now is not relevant, i am not in Australia any more.

i did have all the medication given to me including one that TRIGGERED A MANIC EPISODE, so now i am ON TOP of FYBROMYALGIC bipolar, thus a mental patient; bipolarity the bonus track.

my BUDDHIST DOCTOR did not know ENDEP would make me feel so POWERFUL, i had never been considered a maniac before this pills.

i had to admit i did enjoy taking ENDEP and giving the system so much to think about, i was food for thought, no doubt.

however i want to go back to my deep mind; as part of the treatment for FYBROMYALGIA, i swam, did all art courses and workshops i could and did regular meditation.

i needed this as i was TORTURED IN CHILE and my doctor concluded was a big bang in my head which triggered FYBROMYALGIA, at least this is the hypothesis. i trust this doctor and the big bang was huge. i did happen and it had effects still 22 years after it occurred.

my deep mind was very sick from psychological pain as well as the physical pain. how i know this? i know by reading at this dream i had few months after Pinochet´s mother died.

it horrifies me to have had this buried deep down in my mind ... this is why i would like to make it public, this is an exorcism ... i am exorcising this monster ... i do not believe in killing another human as the answer for any of my troubles ... i am exorcising my half that felt joy in this horror, and i would like to say i am working hard on my other half, the one that still in a dream was horrified at my own violence and my thirst for revenge ...

surely what was done to me was horrible, but today i would prefer to sit around a table having something nice to eat with the men you were made to follow the horrible orders they followed against my poor 22 years old matter ... the men who gave the order should be trial, i cannot forgive them because i would be saying INJUSTICE is OK and i believe in JUSTICE.

i cannot forget what happened to me and to others, i have a good memory ... i choose to understand instead what took place ... some were forced to be monsters, i saw this and knew it was happening even when it happened, but i also remember the ones giving orders and the JOY they felt at being MONSTERS, i would not say death to them, but i would say JUSTICE, please JUSTICE to allow people like me to finally heal from the HORRIBLE and UNFAIR wounds.

i wanted a BETTER WORLD, A WORLD WHERE SHARING WAS COMMON AND NOT RARE, where the children were going to be happy for knowing there was a BEAUTIFUL FUTURE FOR THEM IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY, where FAMILIES were going to expand and FRIENDS AND COMRADES were also going to be part of the inner chore, where WOMEN were going to be FREE to BECOME as never before, where the LAND was going to be IMPORTANT AND CENTRAL and not another commodity as it is the case today.

this is why i cannot forget and this is why i do not want to forgive ... if i forget i would negate my identity i am the sum and understanding of my life experience ... if i forgive i would not be ASKING FOR JUSTICE and justice is necessary for HEALING ... i would say LET US HEAL TOGETHER, we need a better place for all.

i hope this 11th of September made everybody understand that we need FAIRNESS and SHARING if we are to live in a GOOD PLACE, in a peaceful and caring country, in ONE Country which is WHOLE and not in a divided in TWO: a RICH one duck uncle NERO and a POOR bugger kind of donald land.